at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
