Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
