I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I cut my penus on the lid.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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