Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
