I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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