Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
