who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
