just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize