All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize