I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize