Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
