Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
