Ambien. No doubt about it.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
