I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
