I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
