So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
time to smoke my breakfast
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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