well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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