some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize