i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
