you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize