Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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