I wanna bring you to show and tell
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
