I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She bit a glass in half.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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