i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
