I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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