so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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