she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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