why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Just high enough for therapy.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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