his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
