we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I know her cup size but not her name....
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
