we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
