wake up i wanna do it froggy style
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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