Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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