Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
