Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
