Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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