He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
someone owes me an orgasm
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
