We're facebook friends in real life
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Randomize