doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
