There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
