I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
He passed out mid-signature
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize