True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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