My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
