this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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