Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
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