How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
