He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
