I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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