you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
