I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
