he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
