dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
