D3 body, D1 cock
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize