fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Please don't give away my fajitas
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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