she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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