Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
