I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
