we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
