He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Randomize
