if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
