We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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