Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
