Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
