We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
