so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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