i don't like sucking hair
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
