I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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