dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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