I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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