i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
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