Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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