My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
