hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
