she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
